Take a step back in time and think back to the moment you first met your spouse. Think about the feelings that go along with these memories. Excitement, Spontaneity, Lust…the list could go on, right?! Now, fast-forward to careers, babies, kids, school, activities, Mom duties. Though the load has increased those feelings for our spouse haven’t. They are still there waiting to be uncovered, lifted out and made present again.
I know some of you might be thinking like I was, “Another thing to do, how do I get ready with tantrum throwing kids and another babysitter to schedule, more money to spend.” For some of us Moms, adding another “thing” to the schedule doesn’t feel so pleasant. I get it!
We needed to reevaluate what date night meant for us
A few years after our first baby was born, my husband and I decided we needed to reevaluate what date night meant for us as a couple and what we needed out of that time as individuals and as a couple. For us, this quality time is depended on our weeks and days. We choose to mix it up: some date nights in and some out. We love to keep it flexible on how we are feeling and our needs! This allows us to be honest and vulnerable and builds trust. Having a group of flexible babysitters is key to make this flexible option work.
Make it your OWN special routine
This works best for us, but you do "WE" and be proud of it! Make it your OWN special routine. Don’t let society or your friends make you feel different. We are all unique and each of our marriages, wants, and family situations are amazing and creatively made in their own way. So be confident in knowing that this is the best for you and your spouse!
Date nights are a give and take.
There are many nights I am not jiving with his date night idea. It’s not me, boring! Seriously! But, we have to remember marriage is 100% and 100%. There are going to be so many things our husbands would love to do that we don’t, but that is love. That is compromise. That is being a team player, a friend, respecting who our spouse is. We might be surprised and end up loving what they picked. And for those who have a spouse who isn’t going along on this date night thing, don’t you stop. Never give up. You plan them. You keep giving, keep loving! It’s going to eventually soften their hearts.
Here are 7 of our favorite "At home" date night ideas:
Lets start this off strong! Make out night! Long kisses, cuddles, hugs, hand holding, candles lit.
Go for a swim (clothes optional) or take a bubble bath if a pool isn’t an option. Did I mention candles are a must! (Dollar store stock up!)
Play a video game, IPad Game or a board game! Caution! Watch the time! This is so much fun!
Exchange Massages - set the tone with candles, lights dimed, no massage table needed and click on Pandora spa music and your ready to get your relax on.
Watch a sporting event with your spouse. Shoulder to shoulder, chips, salsa and guacamole too! Get into it even if you don’t know what you’re cheering for!
Read 5 Love Languages or take a personality test and compare your results. Chat about them over coffee, wine or sparkling water (don’t forget the dark chocolate, I keep a bunch of it in my pantry! It goes good with any date)
Dream storm together! Write down your goals together or make a dream binder (a binder or folder that holds all your goals, pictures of anything your aiming to achieve or want in your life) then, talk about your dreams and your future. (This can be done over many date nights!)
Any quality time spent with your husband is amazing. From cooking dinner together for your family, laying in bed at night snuggling, watching your favorite show together or just sitting, chatting while holding hands.
I recommend taking the time to get to know what your partner really needs and wants out of date nights and time together. Even those that need that weekly get out of the house kind of date night, these stay at home date night ideas can still be a reference as a fill in option if something comes up and you can’t make it out of the house. Doesn’t mean date night is cancelled, this list is here to save the day! Make a copy and keep in a drawer.
I truly hope this post inspires us all to find ways to have quality time with our spouses that are meaningful to your own marriage and individual personalities. I hope the sparks fly! I'd love to hear about your successes in the comments!