Slowly it’s happened. The invites have become less. The phone calls are almost non existent. My non-mom friends are distancing themselves. Whether this is on purpose or not I don't know. I will say it was hard at first. I mean these are my friends, the people I spent countless hours with, and now I rarely see them let alone even talk to them.
Luckily when baby number two came I found my tribe of mom friends. The women that get what it’s like to function on no sleep because your kid was up all night, rather than choosing to be awake because of a late night partying. These women understand my frustrations or my moments of excitement, such as my toddler learned to buckle her car seat! I don’t think my non mom friends would understand why that was such a big moment.
Since my second kid I have stopped worrying about the invites I wasn’t receiving. I mean sometimes when I see my non-moms out for a girls night or a group hike I think awe that would’ve been fun, but then I’m over it. I guess these days I’m too busy to care.
So it never occurred to me that these same women that rarely even speak to me anymore would care that they weren’t invited to a 1 year olds birthday party.
But it happened. A few days after my daughters party I received a text from one of those friends. They were upset that they weren’t invited just because they didn’t have kids. I immediately responded that it was a family event and really had nothing to do with no children. I thought that was then end of it but no... come to find out the whole group was upset. Interesting, how can someone be mad about a child’s party?
The funny part is I didn’t invite my mom friends either. It was mostly a family affair.
I guess the point I’m trying to make is that seasons of life shouldn’t change friendships. If your friends you’ll always be friends. If you find a season where distance has become the norm well maybe it’s time to move on or better yet reach out! Friendship is a two way street. If you want to be in someones life then make it happen. As a busy mama I try my hardest to connect whenever I can, even if it’s only once every few months I make sure to do it.
If at this moment you are thinking about that friend you never see anymore and it bothers you, call them! Make a plan to see them. Put into it what you hope to get out of it. Whether they are a mom or non-mom friend they’re still your friend.