Let’s be real, mommas. There is a clear division among the mom community. A line in the sand, a separation of ideals. You know which division I’m talking about… I was 4 years into my motherhood when I started paying attention to this division. It has become even more apparent, the longer I write and blog about all things #motherhood.
The division I’m referring to is the silent debate of working versus stay at home mom. I might ruffle some feathers here, but stay with me…
You’re either a working momma, a work from home momma or a stay at home momma. Which team are you a part of?
There is this idea out there that we all are scared to acknowledge. Go ahead—admit it, momma. I won’t judge, and neither should you.
It’s this idea is that there is one “right way” to parent. To the #SAHM, being a working momma means you are only focused on your career—so much so, that you are “okay” with leaving your children at daycare while you head out to the “fancy office.” Meanwhile, the #workingmommas might believe that staying at home with your children is “easier” and “must be nice” because they can’t live that lifestyle. And somewhere in the middle is the #workfromhomemom who has an opinion of her own as to which way is the “correct” way to raise children.
Yes, these are all sweeping generalizations—but the truth of the matter is: The mom divide is real. #momdivide I know-- because I’ve felt the division first hand, but I’ve also contributed to the division as well.
I’ve felt the guilt and shame that comes with missing the field trips because I can’t get off work, just as I’m sure the stay at home moms might feel a bit of judgement from other moms who head to the office for a 9-5 job.
I identify with the working momma. The one who first left her child in the care of another at the young age of 3 months because my maternity leave was up. It’s the way I learned motherhood to be, seeing my mother as a working woman my entire life. My daughter had been in the care of 4 caretakers before she turned 4, and that’s just the way things have been.
There are also work from home mommas, who are making things happen whilst a toddler running around the house. There are also stay at home mommas who begin their day right when the children wake up.
Here’s the thing though… despite the different types of motherhood—we’re all working moms. The work may be different, and the ‘office’ might look different—but we’re all working every day to keep our little humans alive. We’re all doing the best we can, with the resources we have. We’re all struggling with the same kinds of momma guilt and worries.
What if instead of this line in the sand type of division among mothers—we all unite and support one another as the beautiful moms we are? We could learn so much from each other, and cheer each other on. Let’s face it, motherhood is hard and challenging. We’re not meant to do it alone—so why do we insist on keeping the division strong?
I’ve found that the more vocal I am about this division, the stronger the message is around the importance of community and unity. At the end of the day—we are all mommas who work hard at what we do. Underneath the surface, we all want the same things. Easier said than done, but we’ve all got the power to lock arm-in-arm as mommas and lift each other up. The question is, will you?